where does the weary rest her heavy head?

a lamentation of a femme who no longer wants to be strong

i carry you

and me

and you again

i found myself holding you together to find your rhyme and

reason

i hold the glass you shattered

as it cuts the divets in my palms

etching a path of pain

i am the strong friend

the always understanding partner

the ever loving daughter

i am all to all and none to everyone

i ache

i mourn

i grieve

i am too much

not enough

a disappointment to some

a burden to others

aiming to fulfill expectations of those whose broken promises

drop from lips filled with lies and deceit

promising that i am forgiven because they allow it

i am a shell of a spasm of a void of a chasm of longing

anguish

i am all at once doing everything and not enough

torn from the limbs of a broken tree

aiming to receive a smile

nod

word of praise

from the one who i always mended back to health

who tends to the weary heart who yearns to be held

ask me when the last time was

i found a band aid for my bruised fingers

to find someone who would help ease my aching chest

when was the last time i was delivered into a arms of love unconditional

the devil couldnt get to me

so he sent me voices that

haunt me

and bully me

and scold me

and tell me

that i am not enough

his weapons aint prosper

so he sent me heartbreak from a soul whose reflection in the mirror refused to heed direction

sent a demon to my door to corrupt my warmth

froze me into fear

paralyzing me

chaining me to beliefs that were branded into my back and arms

tearing me apart

feeling like a burden to a person whose character cosplays as a plague

you are the vermin that crawls beneath my feet

the roach in my shoe

you are the very wind that blows me the sea

and i could not swim

i could not find my way out

you ungrateful fragment of an element, how dare you poison me

you who avoid

you who evade

you who cast your projections onto an innocent soul

to avoid facing the self-constructed demons you unleased into my home

i am casting off your cares

and finding my own

i will be kept bound by you no longer

you no longer own me

you are not the keeper of my soul

you are no longer governing my spirit

i had to leave

run away

stand up

stand on

two feet that were bloody and bruised

but mine

so and still

i say different from the first refrain…

carry yourself